June 2009: Glenn Penner
Friday, July 3, 2009 at 10:24PM 
Glenn PennerGlenn Penner is the CEO of the Voice of the Martyrs (VOM), a ministry to the persecuted church around the world. In 2002 Penner was diagnosed with cancer. His doctors have told him recently that he “has months, not years” left. Karen Stiller talks with Penner, 47, about living and dying.
KS: Glenn, how are you approaching what appears to be a final home stretch in your battle with cancer? Where is your head at these days?
GP: I believe people are remembered for how they end the journey, not necessarily how they start it. When people have left this ministry [VOM] over the years, I have said to them, ‘leave well,’ because that’s how you’ll be remembered. I’ve had a few years to think about this question of how I can finish well. It has sometimes actually become a bit of a preoccupation. I have to learn to relax about it and realize that we are finishing well. When I started with VOM we were four people and a tiny budget. We’re not huge but we’re doing quite a bit better. We have a bigger staff and a number of people doing the job I was doing, and doing it better.
KS: You work with a ministry that deals with hurting, suffering people around the world. How has that shaped your journey now?
GP: One of the things that has helped me through this has been working with a ministry that deals with suffering and death on a daily basis. It’s a rare privilege. I’ve never struggled with anger, which may sound a bit weird or super-spiritual, but I haven’t gone through a lot of the disappointment with God that a lot of people do when facing their own mortality. I see it on a daily basis, and as I study the word of God about suffering and persecution I see that God has not promised us a break from these things. Suffering and death is a normal thing for anyone who is going to work for the purpose of God.
KS: So you have found inspiration from the persecuted church?
GP: When I was first diagnosed, it was a shock, of course. And I remember lying in bed and thinking. My mind went back to these young ladies I had met a few years earlier in Ethiopia. I had helped start our work there and worked with women kicked out of their homes because of their faith. They were forced to beg on the streets and live in a hovel. And I asked them, “What does Jesus mean to you?” They said: “He means everything to us. He gives us everything we need. He loves us. He’s our father.” I looked around at what they had and I was just amazed at their faith. That night, as I was thinking about these things, I said to the Lord: “If those people can stay faithful to you, so can I. Help me not to dishonour you through this.” I’ve held on to that. One of the great joys for me is having people around the world who are being persecuted praying for me too. I’ve had the honour of meeting them. It’s the fellowship of suffering.
KS: Sometimes, I know that people who are suffering actually have work to help others come to terms with it. Friends or acquaintances might ask: “How could God let this happen to you?” Have you faced that?
GP: I haven’t had too many people come with that perspective. They know that in my mind, God doesn’t protect us, in many cases, from the nastier things of life. He doesn’t promise that we’ll live in a rose garden all the time. I think that what I’ve had to struggle more with is everyone and their dog wanting me to try this diet or that supplement. And occasionally the person who doesn’t know me very well who feels he or she has a right to intrude and say things that are out of line -- like I only need to accept Jesus as Saviour. Thanks, I never thought of that! Thankfully there hasn’t been a lot of that. And I wouldn’t have had the patience to put up with a lot of it.
KS: Have you felt supported by your community?
GP: I’ve felt tremendous support. And I think that others have been encouraged that I have tried to exemplify trust. I’ve never had a sense that God was going to heal me. I let people pray for me if they wanted to. I’ve been anointed with oil a number of times and I welcomed that. But deep down in my heart I never had a sense that I would be healed. And I don’t consider that a lack of faith. I felt it was the path God was calling me to —that I was to continue to glorify him by living in an unchanging situation.
KS: How is your wife coping?
GP: She’s tired. Sometimes I feel worse for the caregiver. She ends up having to take care of some mundane things for me. If I want a glass of water I have to ask her to get me one. That can happen a lot during the day. I do worry about her.
KS: Do you think about what heaven will be like?
GP: I’ve certainly thought about heaven a whole lot more than I would have ordinarily. There are times I think I’m not ready to go because I still have things to do. There are unfinished paths. One of my great passions in life is working on a theology of persecution. I wrote a book on that [In the Shadow of the Cross: A Biblical Theology of Persecution and Discipleship] and so badly wanted to rework it. I feel like I probably won’t have the time or energy. There’s a disappointment of things that are unfinished. There are times when I say “Lord, do I have to go now?” I’m not dreading heaven. I look forward to it. Some days I really do because it’s really hard. I’ve always been a very purpose-driven person. I’m still struggling with the sense that I know heaven is not static – we’re not going to be sitting there doing nothing.
KS: Are you thinking you might get bored?
GP: If heaven was only sitting around singing praise choruses, it wouldn’t be my idea of heaven. I’m not the world’s greatest singer.
KS: I see that you have kept your sense of humour. How important is that?
GP: Yes I have. It goes along in this ministry. You’d be surprised at how much humour there is, both with persecuted Christians and those who work alongside them. I always say I miss the old Soviet Union because they had the best jokes about Communists. If you study suffering Christians through history, you will find there is humour there as well. Maybe that is what Paul means when he talks about joy in suffering.
KS: What is the one message you would like to give to the Church in Canada?
GP: The fact of the reality of suffering of Christians around the world. That suffering is normal for Christians. I was a pastor before I joined VOM. I don’t understand how people can run away from God in the midst of suffering, but they often do. When we need God the most we often run away from Him. I have been so blessed, so honoured to work with our suffering brothers and sisters. They are so thankful when we come and serve them and show them we care. If the Canadian Church could just see how impoverished we are because we’ve robbed ourselves of part of the body of Christ.
KS: We’re not very good at suffering, are we?
GP: We see suffering as the worst thing that can happen, whereas our brothers and sisters in the persecuted church see disobedience as the worst thing. I couldn’t have gone through this time without having had my life enriched by them, by their faithfulness and trusting even when things don’t get better. One of our problems is that we expect God to protect us.
KS: And God’s not going to do that?
GP: He has greater priorities in our life, rather than keeping us from harm. His priority is to make us into the image of His Son. We serve a suffering God.
KS: Glenn, what do you wish you had done more of during your life?
GP: I wish I’d spent more time with my kids. I spent a lot of time on the road. But I’m not sure how it could have been done differently. I wish I could have touched base with my kids a little more. I wish I hadn’t gotten caught up in things that actually weren’t so important. I spent a lot of time on things that, in the grand scheme, probably didn’t matter. There are not a lot of regrets I have. There are some. I’ve had some failures in my life and I look back and it saddens me. If anything I’ve learned to love God’s grace. It’s all there is. And this is grace, when people are able to suffer persecution and remain faithful.
KS: What gives you comfort and pleasure right now?
GP: Pleasure is something I’m struggling with right now. I’m struggling for breath a lot of the time. I’m not comfortable. I love to read when my eyes allow me to, but my eyes get very dry. Occasionally I listen to music. My iPod is my good buddy. There is some music that really does touch me.
KS: You have seen a lot of the world. You have written on your blog about being thankful for a Sudanese sunset. Are you glad you lived the life you lived?
GP: I’m thankful for the opportunities I’ve had to visit the places I’ve seen. It saddens me that I probably won’t get back there. My favourite country on the planet is Sri Lanka. I love these places.
KS: It’s been an extraordinary life.
GP: It hasn’t been boring. I think my wife would have enjoyed a slightly more boring life sometimes. I’m feeling a little bit torn between here and there. Wanting to stay here but knowing that things will be better there.
KS: Are you afraid?
GP: The biggest fear I have -- and that’s not a bad thing to say -- is not being able to breathe. That is troubling to me. Things will get worse here. I don’t really know the path or how it’s going to show itself. It takes a very different attitude to know that you’ve turned a corner that you’re probably not going to come back from. I’m getting to the point where I can’t breathe. But we shall face that.
KS: What is the one message you want to leave your children?
GP: Live a life that matters. Live such a life that at the end of it someone will glorify God that you’ve been alive. That is something that has come to me so many times -- that somebody somewhere is thanking God that I’m alive and that I’ve been willing to be used by Him. I think that is how we glorify God, that people will say ‘Thank God this person was.”
This interview first appeared in Faith Today and is reprinted with permission of the interviewer.
Reader Comments (1)
Thank you for that very inspiring interview with Glenn Penner. I have done palliative-care volunteer work for a number of years since retiring and found the article helpful in that it provided me with many insights into the feelings and thoughts of a spiritual leader facing a terminal illness. This is an atricle that you only find occasionally, and I cherish it.
James Komar
charliesplace@sasktel.net
PS: I could not figure out how to use your message service. Too complicated for computer illiterates like me.